Gods of the Ancient World AAR: July 11th, 2026
This AAR comes from Karmakitsuna, a new Megagame organizer based in Upstate NY. It’s lovely. Have a read.
Weddings, Coups, and other Romantic Gestures
Upstate New York Megagames ran Gods of the Ancient World as their second Megagame. During the game there were three proposals, one and a half marriages and several compelling arguments against combining romance with geopolitics.
I was fortunate enough to be running lead control during this game, and was thus privy to almost all of the schemes that ensued.
First, the Greek Oracles interpreted Hera’s signs that they should have children as a demand that their King marry. His first prospective bride was the Senator of Epirus, despite their strained relationship during Senate sessions. The hope was to secure a stronger alliance between the Crown and that City State. The fear was that he would wake up with a knife in his back.
The Spartan Captain of the Guard offered to become the King’s personal bodyguard and remain present whenever he was with his wife. It would be a marriage founded on trust. Just not between the married parties.
Athens then offered an alternative, their Guildswoman, a daughter of Poseidon. The King accepted, hoping divine nepotism would gain the god’s favor. This decision may have saved Greece from Poseidon’s wrath, as Poseidon was himself in love with the Senator of Epirus! He likely would have objected to her marrying the King, even though her plan was to bear Poseidon’s child and install them as heir to Greece.
Meanwhile, the senator of Sparta murdered Ares, the God of War’s son Cygnus after the demigod disrespected his wife. Our Spartan senator might’ve been able to get away with it, if they hadn’t quickly confided in their region’s oracle, an avid worshipper of Area who had just opened a temple in his honor. The senate had just passed a law that the fate of those accused of crimes facing capital punishment were to be decided by the voices of the Gods themselves, the Oracles. So, all of Greece gathered in Sparta for a fair and impartial trial, after which the Oracles unanimously fed him to a Kraken that had recently risen from the depths ( just in time to support the new justice system).
The execution was immediately followed by the royal wedding, as the venue was already decorated and everyone was present. This seamless transition from public execution to royal marriage became known as a “Spartan Wedding.” The Epirean senator then accepted Poseidon’s love and moved to Olympus, where she graduated from plotting against one King to antagonizing the King of the Gods. Towards the end of the game, the Greek Queen seized the throne with the senate’s support and their King returned to his home city-state with most Greece’s gold as he’d been quietly squirreling all taxes away.
Across the map, having secured a truce with Sicily the Roman Emperor had begun courting its Princess. Rome sent a ship full of gold and gifts as a dowry. During the same turn, Greece sent a ship full of soldiers, conquered Sicily, and claimed the dowry.
Having heard of Rome’s wedding plans the Guildswoman from Epirus accompanied the soldiers. Her goal was to replace the Princess, marry the Emperor, and assassinate him, compressing courtship, matrimony, and widowhood into a single efficient operation.
Meanwhile, the King of Greece heard that the “bride” was escaping Sicily and ordered her killed to prevent Rome from securing an alliance. Fortunately, the Spartan Captain of the Guard had arranged her passage and was also the person asked to assassinate her. He therefore prevented two Greek plots from accidentally cancelling each other out. Rome received their future queen, believing that she had indeed escaped Greece’s invasion. Chivalrously, the Roman Emperor declared that she would receive a new dowry: the return of her home state.
All of Rome gathered for the wedding, with the Emperor’s Legion Legates serving as his best men. Unfortunately, he was assassinated during the exchange of vows. His vow was for a relationship of trust and a strong alliance. Her vow was to seize control of Rome after assassinating him. The hostile take over occurred in front of the Emperor’s loyal Legion Legats and Priests and the hostile take over went about as well as one might expect. After both bride and groom were killed, the Emperor was revived by the mythical Lyre of Orpheus. His spies then informed him that his bride had been a Greek assassin. They were promptly informed that the ideal time to mention this would have been before she’d assassinated him. Following this “Red Wedding,” Rome returned to its original plan: reclaim Sicily and locate the real Princess, assuming she was still alive. The game ended before that particular romantic campaign could reach its conclusion.
The final proposal occurred during the closing moments of the event and is by far the most near and dear to my heart. As we wrapped up, players gathered to share their stories, as is customary after a megagame. Then Roberticus, of Resource Control asked whether there were any final prayers. One player raised a scroll and declared that they had one last prayer for the gods. Hades retrieved the scroll, then pondered it before claiming that while the Gods accepted it, this prayer required a higher power than the Gods- Control. The scroll was handed to me. As I began reading aloud, I discovered it contained a proposal for an eternal alliance between Sydney (myself) and Roberticus. Rob then got down on one knee beside me. Of course, I said yes. We are hoping our wedding and subsequent matrimony go more smoothly than those of our predecessors. Our fellow Control members have also declared it tradition that whenever we run Gods of the Ancient World, one member of Control must now propose to another.